One Saturday night in the winter of 1956 my grandfather had stayed too long at Finley’s Bar again. It had become his habit since my grandmother had passed away in June of that year. He didn’t drink a drop while she was alive. Pap’ never had a driver’s license so he would get on his old Ford tractor and drive down to Maple Street about 5 o’clock every Saturday evening and get to talking to Mr. Finley, reminiscing and drinking. He’d drink a while and cry a while. This particular night though Pap’ was drinking more than crying. About midnight he decided it was time to go home. He was driving down Maple and he noticed something very large coming from behind a row of holly bushes. He swerved to miss it and ran up into the widow Finch’s yard. She came out the house half-dressed, with cold cream all over her face and curlers in her hair screaming to the top of her lungs. When she saw it was Pap’ she started batting her eyes and talking sweet, but he wanted no part of what he was seeing. He got back on the tractor and went home as fast as that old tractor would go. The next morning the telephone woke him up which didn’t help his splitting headache one bit. It was Mr. Halafax, the town’s ombudsman. He was reporting a complaint from widow Finch about Paps’ tractor tire tracks running through her front yard. Pap’ tried to explained to Mr. Halafax about the wild Rhinoceros that was crossing the road from behind the holly bushes. Mr. Halafax told Pap’ he would have to come to his office on Monday morning to discuss the complaint.
Widow Finch was in the Ombudsmen’s office that morning too. She looked a little better than she had on Saturday night, but Pap’ still didn’t fall for the eye batting. He did agree to pay for the repairs on her lawn and promised never to go to the Finley’s Bar again, the sights that night were just too much to bear. Mr. Halafax told Pap’ if he caught him or his tractor anywhere near that bar again, he would have to start attending AA meetings.
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