My Uncle Mack

A VERY SPECIAL PERSON

My uncle Mack was born with Down's syndrome on September 5, 1938.  He came along when my grandmother was 40 years old, and was the last of seven children.  My mother was the nearest in age to Mack and was seven when he was born.  

At that time it was almost unheard of to keep a Down's syndrome child at home, and the doctors advised my grandmother to follow suit.  They told my grandparents to put Mack in an institution and forget they’d ever had him. 

Grandmama refused to do so and raised him at home with the help of her other children.  He got off to a very slow start because of the Down’s and the fact that he was born a “blue” baby.  He wasn’t able to get enough oxygen during the birth which added to his difficulties.  The older girls would take turns massaging his arms and legs to help with his circulation.  They were always a big help to Grandmama, even the two older girls that had already married and moved away.

Mack turned three years old and still wasn’t able to walk.  The doctors just said that he may never learn to walk or do anything a “normal” child could do.  When Grandmama thought that she was out of options, someone suggested they take him to a chiropractor. After a few visits, Mack was able to walk and improved greatly in other motor skills too.  My grandmother sang the praises of chiropractors after that. 

Mack grew to be 5’ nothin’, but was very strong in body and will.  He was kind of spoiled and he would have his own way most of the time.  However, if he got too far out of line Grandmama would get the spatula, or a peach tree limb, then he was a little more compliant. 

If he really wanted to do something, he could usually figure out a way to get it done.  Like the time my sister and I were leaving to go back home to Shelbyville and Mack came in with a package of frozen steaks he wanted to give us.  We declined, and my aunt took them back to the freezer.   We were standing at the front door talking and Mack went out the back door.  No one was the wiser until my sister started noticing a really bad smell in her car.  She started digging around under the seats and to her surprise; she found a package of once frozen putrid steaks.  I can’t even count the times that one of us got home and found a bag of Mack’s socks in a diaper bag.  He was definitely generous to a fault.  Another thing Mack was not lacking in was determination.  (Grandmama called it stubbornness).

He was pretty independent when it came to hygiene and daily living.  He was able to bathe and shave himself.  He was really good at changing his clothes, probably because he did it five or six times a day.  I guess that was one of the ways he occupied himself.  You never knew what he was going to be wearing next.  He would have been right in step, now that it is fashionable to wear plaids and stripes together.

He loved to rock babies and there were plenty of us.  He started rocking my cousins, way before I was born and was still rocking babies when my grandchildren were born.  He was very gentle with the babies and would sing to them while they rocked.

Mack mowed the yard in the spring and summer, raked the leaves in the fall and shoveled snow in the winter. He would also dry the dishes and hang clothes on the line or take them off the line and fold them.  He didn’t mind doing hard work and wasn’t lazy, just sometimes when he wasn’t in the mood, his stubborn streak would show up.

For entertainment Mack liked to fill in word search puzzles even though he didn’t know the words.  He just liked drawing circles around a bunch of letters.  He worked hours filling the pages with circles.  He also learned to write some letters of the alphabet, but not in order and could read the letters that he used to cover package after package of notebook paper pages, front and back.  There was always a jigsaw puzzle in the making on the board my grandfather made as a game and puzzle board.  Everyone who came in and out of the kitchen would stop awhile and add a piece or two to the puzzle and Mack was no exception.  We had to help him a little matching the dots when we played dominoes, but he was pretty good at it.  Croquet, badminton, horse shoes, and yard darts were among his favorite outdoor games.  I really believe he would have like corn hole if it had been invented during his lifetime. 

Fishing was another pastime Mack really liked.  He wouldn’t touch the fish or the bait, but loved to pull the fish in and step on them until someone came to get them off the line.

He also loved to sing and “play” the guitar.  When the family gathered around in the living room or out in the yard Mack would always be there to join in the fun. 

We also had fun playing records on the stereo and dancing to songs from the 40’s 50’s and 60’s.  Mack was right there with us.  Saturday nights when Lawrence Welk came on, we would all get up and dance the Polka or whatever dance they were doing.

Mack was scared of anything with feathers.  I remember one day when “Lucky” the Parakeet escaped from his cage and was flying around the house.  Mack saw him coming and opened the refrigerator, stooped down inside the door and tried to pull the door in on him.  Poor thing was scared to death.

He loved to ride in cars and he knew that when a certain program came on the television it was time for my aunt to get home from work and for him to walk to the mailbox to get the mail.  He would then come back across the road and wait for her to drive him back up the driveway.  This was one of the high points of his day.

Mack could never talk very plain, but most of the family could understand him.  He could also learn how to say new words if someone took the time to teach him.  Mack had always called me “Billie Gay”, which was his way of saying “Paula Gay”.  I thought he couldn’t say Paula so I just went along with him.  However, when the song “Hey Paula” came out in the 60’s, he would sing it and he could say Paula, but he still called me “Billie Gay”.  I tried to get him to call me Paula and he wouldn’t.  So, when he would say “Billie Gay”, I would pretend I didn’t hear him and he finally got the message and called me P-P-P-Paula, which is how he sang the song too and that was fine with me

Mack loved to visit neighbors with or without invitation and/or permission.  Grandmama would turn her back and he would be gone.  That was one of the few times he would move fast.  When she missed him, or was ready for him to come back home she would step out on the back porch and call:  Mack…Mack Edward...Mack Edwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard, while impatiently stomping her foot as she said that last, but high pitched Edward.

He loved go places where he could see many people and one of his favorite places to go was to church, but was kicked out of the one Grandmama was member of for disruption – singing loud and walking around – I don’t think those people knew that God made Mack too and that he wasn’t a mistake - I believe he was a lesson for all of us.

If the options Down's syndrome children have now were available then, there is no telling what Mack could have done with his life, but the dozens of so-called “normal” children in our family know what he did in our lives.  I know that all of us learned more from Mack than he ever learned from us.  I am sure each one would say that Mack taught us: humility, determination, unconditional love, how to shake off hurt, confidence in ourselves, to never hold a grudge, generosity, and much, much more.

Mack passed on from this earth on October 28, 1997 at the age of 59.  Those same doctors said he wouldn’t live past eight years old.  If the doctor’s advice had been followed, he probably wouldn’t have.  I shudder to think of how my life would have been if I hadn’t known him.

I know that Mack will be there when I get to Heaven.  I also know that if I listen closely I will hear Grandmama calling Mack the same old way she used to:  Mack…Mack Edward...Mack Edwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard. 

I am looking forward to that sweet familiar voice saying, “P-P-P-Paula,” I won’t even care if it says “Billie Gay.”